OK, so I know I haven't posted lately. I have been feeling a bit depressed and figured no one would want to read about me being bummed. And, my kids haven't done anything picture worthy so thus, the reason for no posts. I just have felt totally overwhelmed with being a mom. Not necessarily the schedule thing, which can get a bit overwhelming sometimes. I am just sick of trying to be a "good" mom and always falling short.
So, I am trying an experiment. I am done trying to do it all. I am done with the constant cleaning. My floors are currently dusty with muddy dog prints on them, there are at least 10 preschool type toys all over my living room floor, my dirty dishes are sitting on the counter waiting for someone to empty the dishwasher of the clean dishes and load the dirty ones in, and I won't even mention the bathrooms. I am also done being the one who always volunteers. If someone (teacher, primary president, etc) specifically asks me to do something then yes, I MAY do it but no longer will I offer before they ask, just to be the super-mom. I am done caring what my kids wear once they leave the house and what Briella's hair looks like. Since she decided to give her bangs a "trim" there really isn't any point now anyway. As long as it is basically clean then I'm OK. I'm done fighting with my kids to eat healthy. If they want to eat it, fine. If not, fine. I won't even tell you how many fruit snacks Briella had once she realized I didn't care. I am definitely done breaking up fights between my kids. Unless there is blood involved or they are about to break something of mine, they are on their own. I am done repeating myself to my kids, if they want to hear me they must listen the first time, if not, oh well, natural consequences will follow. "You have 5 minutes to get your shoes on and get in the car for school" if they don't hear, or obey, oh well, we only live 3 blocks away from the school anyway. Which brings me to my next thing I am done with - guilt. I am done feeling guilty! If my kids don't want to listen the first time, I refuse to feel guilty when they do have to walk to school or when they poke around at bedtime and take too long I will not feel guilty when I go to bed before they do and they don't get any hugs or kisses goodnight. Lastly, I am done being too busy to play with my kids or take time for myself. Briella and I sat and read books for over an hour, I took each of my older girls out shopping just the two of us, I read the entire Twilight series in less than 3 weeks and I actually joined a gym this week - thus the reason I haven't had time to have a clean house!
So if you are scared of dirty dishes or fighting kids I would suggest staying away from my house! Like I said at the start of my "rant", this is just an experiment. First, I want to see if any positive changes happen, like getting out of this depression or having kids that actually listen one out of ten times. And second, if I can even do this. I know myself and I am such a type A person that having my house dirty and cluttered and not doing EVERYTHING is difficult for me. SO... if you know a good book or want to join me at the gym or even a play date with the kids come on over! This new lifestyle may not last long :)
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